9 Words

I’ve read a lot of self-help/motivational books over the years and have taken bits and pieces from each of them to build the life I lead today. Some of the ‘experts’ claim that the most important statements one can make to another human being are “I love you” or “I am sorry.” While both of these phrases certainly belong in everyone’s vocabulary, (and should be used frequently in my opinion), I recently heard 9 words that should be shared with the people in your life, especially with those you are fortunate to be around in their early childhood. 

Last Sunday afternoon, my hubby and I went to an afternoon matinee at our local theatre. I got to choose the movie we’d see, and since I’d heard rave reviews of the film, The Help, based on the book by Kathryn Stockett, that was my pick. 

It turned out to be best $10.00 I’ve spent in years. 

This amazing movie chronicles the behind the scenes feelings of colored domestic maids in the early 1960’s in Jackson, MS. While I suspect that some of the incidents and situations in the movie were indeed true, I’m choosing not to comment on the politics of the film, but rather the words that from the moment I heard them, I knew them to be some of the most profound I’ve heard in my lifetime. 

The main character, Aibileen Clark, portrayed brilliantly by actress Viola Davis, tells her story of raising white children during this era. In one of the early scenes in the movie, Aibileen reaches into a crib, picks up the little white girl she is looking after, sits down with her in a rocking chair near the bed, and says… 

“You is kind; you is smart; you is important.” 

9 words. 

Aibileen makes the little girl repeat these words after she says them to her as if repeating them will somehow make the child realize her own worth.

I’ve been wondering all week long what would happen if all of us said these 9 words to the children in our life. Better yet, what if we, as adults, switched them around a bit and daily told ourselves, ‘I am kind; I am smart; I am important.”

They say it takes 28 days to either break or form a new habit. I’m issuing a challenge to everyone who reads this post. For the next 28 days, before you get out of your bed each morning, silently say these words: “I am kind; I am smart; I am important.” Better yet, if you happen to have children or grandchildren, or even young nieces and nephews, at least once a day tell THEM these same words. 

9 simple words. 

I wish I’d heard them sooner.

Posted in Building Self-esteem, Honesty, Human Interest, Words to make you think | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Anticipation

Anticipation

How our definition of this word changes as we age.

Today is the first day of school in my area. Since I live on a street that ends at the local elementary school, I get to see all the children in my neighbourhood between the ages of 5 and 13 walk past my house heading to the big brick building where they’ll spend roughly 5 hours a day for the next 10 months.

Guess which ones I love to watch the most? It’s those first-timers, the little kindergartener’s and grade one students. You can divide them into two categories: those filled with anticipation and the others who are filled with dread.

I LOVE the anticipation crowd! They’re the ones that are running ahead of their Mom’s or Dad, skipping over cracks in the sidewalk in their haste to get to school for the first day. With faces as shiny and radiant as their new backpacks and lunch pails, they exude anticipation for what is to come once they enter those hallowed doors of the school. “Slow down, Suzie! Don’t run, John!” anxious parents admonish their children. “But… but… I don’t wanna be late!” exclaim the little ones. Such exuberance and unbridled joy.

It’s been a long time since I felt that much bottled-up anticipation in my life, until last Friday, that is. My sweetheart decided to give in to my whining for a new puppy and brought home Max, a Havanese/Shih Tzu mix, from Paradise Kennels which is about 5 hours from our home. Along the way he’d take periodic pictures of Max and send them to me via email with silly captions like, “He’s not too impressed” showing Max woefully looking up from his cardboard box at my hubby.

By 4:00 pm my anticipation meter had blown through the roof. At around 4:10 the phone rang and my hubby said, “We’re about 5 minutes away.” I rushed outside and stood in the middle of driveway as I could not wait to see and hold our newest addition to the family. My hubby’s car barely made it to a stop when I yanked open the passenger side door and reached into the box to lovingly pick up my new ‘baby’ to pet him. I held that gorgeous ball of fur… and he started licking my face showering me with puppy chow kisses. And you got it – I started bawling.

Hi, I'm Max!

Hi! I'm Max!

For one brief moment in time, I was just like those little kids who were skipping on their way to school today. Full of anticipation as THE day had arrived filled with unlimited possibilities.

So, I raise my coffee cup to salute all the little children who traveled on the road to adulthood this morning, filled with bravery, wonderment, happiness, enthusiasm, with just a little anxiety thrown in for good measure.

I know exactly how you feel!

PS -  Here’s my all-time favorite song about Anticipation. Enjoy!

Anticipation – Carly Simon

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How Are You Showing Up In Your Business?

Last week while speaking with a prospective new client, towards the end of the conversation she said something that caused me to pause in the middle of my sentence. I had been explaining to her the process of how I performed editing/ghostwriting and my general business practices when she said, “Wow! It sounds as if you’re a very honest and ethical person!” 

After digesting what she’d just said, I responded, “Well… isn’t that the way that everyone should conduct business?” to which she responded, “No, unfortunately, not everyone is as upfront as you are.” 

Later that afternoon as I was winding down for the day, I started reflecting on the words she’d said to me, hence the reason behind this posting. 

How are YOU showing up in YOUR business? 

I am a solopreneur, so I get to wear all the hats in the running of my business. Yes, I’ve contracted out the tasks that I don’t particularly like doing, like accounting, (thank goodness for my long-time buddy and number-cruncher, Sandra Drisdelle), and anything that has to do with the back-end working of my website, (Jef Keep, I am SO glad you’re my best ‘virtual’ friend), but all of the business decisions fall on my shoulders. It’s me who must take full responsibility for securing new clients, ensuring that my existing customer workload is performed on time and correct the first time round, and generally making sure that my business continues to thrive. 

I only have so many hours in a day in which to activate my three working brain cells to produce stellar copy, or magnificently manipulate syllables and syntaxes in manuscripts. I really don’t have a lot of time to waste, so I tend to be ‘up front’ and ‘out loud’ as the saying goes with all my clients. 

Let me explain where the honesty part comes into play with me. If a client asks me to do something that is out of my realm of expertise, I politely tell them that I’m afraid I can’t help them, but I do offer names of other qualified people who might be able to assist them. What do you think would happen to my reputation of being expedient if I said, “Sure, I’ll take care of that for you!” and then had to spend 5 hours of billable time, wasting my clients money trying to figure out how to install a widget on a whatcamacallit. Imagine the ‘sticker shock’ they’d experience at month’s end when they received my invoice. Can you say “Ouch?!” Can you also say “Goodbye client?” 

Let me give you another quick example. I’m often asked to give estimates on how long it will take to edit a full manuscript. I usually ask authors to send me a sample chapter (which I edit for free) and then try to calculate how many hours it will take to whip their musings into shape. However, (here comes what I refer to as the ‘honesty +integrity cocktail’) I always tell them upfront that I cannot guarantee the number of questimated hours as chapters often differ in a book, then I offer to give them periodic progress reports so they’ll know how many hours of time I’ve used at any given time. This way there are no hidden costs, I’ve reduced my client’s level of worry about billing, and I make doubly sure I keep in constant contact with them throughout the process. A happy client equals a very happy Marlene. 

So, how do you run your business? Do you make an effort to inform new clients of exactly how you operate, or do you ‘assume’ that they should feel privileged just to have you as a supplier or service provider and not question your business practices? Do you over-promise and under deliver instead of the other way around? Or are you still using the sales pitch mantra of the ‘70s’, the ‘BBB’ method? You know, the good old ‘Bulls%*t Baffles Brains’ theory? (Good luck with that!) 

I’m known for not having much of a ‘filter’ between what I think and what I say, and for me that works just dandy. I definitely ‘walk my talk’ and when I make a promise, I do my utmost to keep it. I learned a long, long time ago that it’s easier, safer, and so much less stress-inducing to be upfront about what I can or cannot do for my clients. 

Ask yourself this week if there are certain new practices that you can implement into YOUR business to create winning partnerships with your clients. Try adding larges doses of honesty mixed liberally with integrity into your client relationships. Perhaps, like me, some of your favorite customers just may also become a few of your absolute best friends!

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2011: The Year of Being Me

Here I sit, perched excitedly on the cusp of the beginning of brand spanking New Year with mere hours to go. I ask you – how invigorating is it to know that come January 1st we all get a fresh clean slate to start writing on? I feel like I’m eight and it’s the commencement of a new school year. I’ve got a shiny backpack, unmarked notebooks and sharpened pencils, plus a fresh package of new crayons with which to color my world any hue of the rainbow I desire.

That’s what January 1st means to me: it’s a ‘do over’ start if you will, and I know exactly where I’m going to begin… with me.

2010 was a year of learning for me, and with some of those lessons came smidgens of sadness and dabs of disappointment. I won’t lie and say that all those lessons were great because they weren’t. At times I felt a bit lost, as if I were oar less in a leaky rowboat, somewhere out on a seemingly endless sea.

Thankfully by November, I had found a life-line, pulled my battered boat to shore, and on shaky legs finally stood up on solid ground once more. And here’s what I’m taking with me from the journey of 2010 into this nice, sparkly New Year:

1. It’s okay to not always know where you’re going. Why? Because if you travel the same path over and over and over again, without taking side trips and an occasional detour here and there, you’ll never get to see any of the wonders that await you off the beaten tried and true path.

2. Learn to trust your intuition because your ‘gut’ never lies. There’s a reason why they call it ‘gut’ instinct – that little voice inside us that sends out clear messages like, “Don’t touch that burner – it’s hot and you’ll get burned!” That wise person inside each of us also tells us what is the right (and wrong!) thing to do when faced with making decisions. We just have to learn to be patient – to wait for directions, and be still enough to hear them when they arrive.

3. We are our own worst critics but can also be our best supporters. Believe that you matter. You are a ‘somebody’ in your own life – a hero to yourself. When you are living a life that makes you smile, brings peacefulness and joy into your heart and others, then YOU have become the champion of YOU.

4. Keep the fire of adventure and imagination burning brightly in your heart and mind. Never lose your sense of wonderment. I grant you that some days the only wonder you may experience is trying to figure out how they get the caramel into the Caramilk bar, but never stop dreaming. At least once a day ask yourself, “I wonder if…” and fill in the blank. Even if it’s something totally silly it will keep those creative juices flowing in your mind and may cause you to smile.

5. And last, but certainly not the least by far, laugh. Out loud. At anything, at least once every day. A true, straight from the belly, snorting, guffaw until tears leak out from your eyes type of laugh. This was the life-line I regained back in November and I am going to do my utmost to hang on to it for the duration of 2011.

I’d like to leave you with this wonderful prayer I found many years ago which has been my unofficial mantra for the past year.

“To Be Prayer”

O Lord, I ain’t what I ought to be,

And I ain’t what I want to be,

And I ain’t what I’m going to be,

But O Lord, I thank You,

That I ain’t what I used to be.”

I know I love this new me and have a great feeling I’m going to like this New Year. Happy 2011 to all!

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Is ‘Hugh Muir’ A Part of Your Life?

I know that this is a very strange title for a musing and probably has quite a few of you wondering, “Who the heck is Hugh Muir, and why do I need him in my life?” Keep reading and you’ll see why. 

I’m a solopreneur. For those of you who’ve not heard that term before, it simply means that I’m self-employed and have no other employees in my business. It’s just me, myself, and my overactive imagination, the latter of which does come in handy since I’m a writer and editor. 

Some days I’m crazy busy, and others I’ll have a few hours where there is nothing in my inbox for me to work on. It’s those ‘others’ that sometimes gets me into trouble. 

A few years ago I developed an online buddy support system with another virtual assistant who is self-employed as well. He resides in another province so we communicate mainly through instant messaging and occasional phone calls (on his dime I might add, as I’m too frugal to purchase a ‘real’ long distance plan. Hey, VoIP works for me and is inexpensive! What can I say.) 

Two days ago we were kvetching through instant messenger and got chatting about how some people have absolutely no sense of humour, especially irate clients who expect everything to have been completed yesterday when they’ve only sent you the work to be done an hour earlier. Since both of us have clientele from the US and Canada, we frequently switch back and forth between the two different spelling formats of each country. In his haste to type the word ‘humour’ in the IM box, he pecked out ‘humer’, then ‘humor’, followed by ‘humour.’ By this time I was snickering and since I was having one of my non-busy days, I responded, “Don’t you mean ‘Hugh Muir?’ That did it for me. I started laughing and couldn’t stop until I had tears running down my face and a stitch in my side.

It suddenly occurred to me that this one trait, my whacky, off-the-wall, slightly warped sense of humour, is what has gotten me through all the rough patches and obstacles I’ve faced in growing of my business. For example, when I first opened my doors for business and noticed nobody seemed to be beating a path to them, I got very scared. Then one day I simply decided that while I was waiting for those unknown clients to line up, I’d plant beautiful flowers along the front of my walkway. This way, I reasoned, at least they’d have something nice to smell when they arrived. 

I firmly believe that if you can cultivate the ability to be able to laugh at adversity, or find something funny in a down situation, then you’ve developed an admirable trait. I know for a fact that laughter reduces the level of stress hormones and increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins and neurotransmitters in your body, plus it just plain feels good. Another benefit of laughter is that when you’re with other people and one of you starts chuckling, it sort of becomes this contagious ‘smiling’ disease. The next thing you notice is that most of your group is laughing as well. 

Laughter is also a terrific ice breaker when trying to engage new clients in conversation. I’m not suggesting that you try to be a comedian and crack them up with witty one-liners every 2 minutes, but I’ve yet to see a book on business building where they strongly suggest that you NEVER smile or say something funny. In fact I warn all my new clients that I don’t have a very good filter on my mouth and to be prepared for the unexpected when talking with me. 

So, the next time you’re feeling frustrated because your client list isn’t as big as you’d like, or your bank account isn’t even close to what Madonna pays her personal trainer, (I couldn’t find an accurate estimate here or I’d have shared it with you!), go ahead – laugh. It’s free; it feels good; you won’t gain a pound from it, or have to go to confession because of guilt. And you just might find that your day and disposition will improve. 

Invite ‘Hugh Muir’ into your life. I can guarantee you he’ll be a very nice addition to your household and life. 

PS – To all the actual real life ‘Hugh Muir’s’ out there, I do apologize for borrowing your name for this article. I’m certain that you’re very nice gentlemen and most definitely have developed your own sense of humour… or humor… or however you spell it where you live.

Posted in Building Self-esteem, Human Interest, Humor, Words and Your Business, Words to make you think | Leave a comment

“Ground Black People?” – Best Gaff of the Week

j0178843Call me sick, call me totally whacko, but I thought I’d crack up laughing this morning when I read an AP posting entitled, “Cookbook pulped over ‘ground black people’ typo.” First off, I wondered why the writer had inserted the word ‘pulped’ into the title of the column. Were they trying to be cutesy and use a play on words, or did the actual headline include a typo as well? Had they meant to say, “Cookbook PULLED over ‘ground black people’ typo?” 

Then I went on to read the article itself and that’s when I started silently snickering. Apparently the “Pasta Bible” recipe for spelt tagliatelle, (a hardy wheat type of pasta, and yes, I had to look that up!), with sardines and prosciutto, was supposed to call for black pepper, not ‘ground black people.’    

Aha! Now ground pepper makes much more sense to me than the appalling bad typo ingredient. 

This story reminded me of a bad cooking experience I had about 20 years ago. One Christmas I decided I’d make my Dad’s favourite dessert, namely my Mom’s recipe for Suet Pudding. (Don’t start gagging here folks – stick with me on this!) It was a fairly complicated pudding; I was in a hurry; and when I’d originally copied down the recipe from my Mom’s original tattered and batter-stained recipe card, I missed one crucial ingredient: baking powder. 

Anyhow, this lovely concoction was steaming gently away, balanced precariously on a smaller pot inserted into a larger one filled with boiling water while I served the Christmas main course to the crowd. Now came the time to serve the piece de resistance, the Suet Pudding. (I’d also made apple pies for those of you who still have your face screwed up over the thought of eating suet.) 

I removed the wonderfully aromatic pudding from the pot and instantly my eye’s register that something is really amiss: the pudding is still only about 2” thick instead of the lovely light and airy 6” version by Mom used to serve. My Dad gamely polished off a large portion of what I called, “Steamed brick on a plate,” but later that night after the hubbub of the day had ended, I had to figure out what I’d done wrong. Going back over the recipe, I couldn’t see any baking powder in the list, and I know that without that one tiny ingredient, you’ll always have pancake flat, ‘looks like lead’ cakes.

Moral of the story? Read everything you write at least THREE times before you publish it or try to cook from it! 

Oh… and here’s the link to the ‘ground black people’ gaff if you’d like to read the rest of the article:  http://bit.ly/9B73rB

Posted in Human Interest, Humor, Things that make you go "duh", Words and Your Business, Words to make you think | Tagged | 2 Comments

Sometimes a Flower Isn’t Just a Flower

firstsignofspring2010 adj1I woke up this morning to bright, beautiful sunshine flooding my bedroom through the slats of my window blind. This is the second day in a row where I experienced this wonderful phenomenon after a week that brought more snow, (blech!) and cold temperatures to my little corner of the east coast of Canada. At this point, any warmth or semblance thereof brings me comfort as I am not a winter person by any stretch of the imagination. 

After breakfast, my hubby and I decided to go run a few errands. Even though the temperature still was in the minus Celsius range, we could feel the warmth of that wonderful sunshine beaming through the windshield. Both of us commented on how great it was to be alive on such a glorious morning. And the day just got better and better. 

Upon arriving back at the house, we took our little Westie, Angel, outside to do her ‘business’ and I ventured around to the front of the house to marvel at how the snow was gently melting around the basement footing. 

And that’s when I saw it – a tiny sprig of greenery popping through the thawing ground, yet still surrounded by snow banks. Whether it was a tulip or hyacinth daring to show its face to the world, I couldn’t be sure, but it was the first sign that spring is on its way to my region. Then this amazing thought popped into my head: sometimes a flower isn’t just a flower!

Somewhere this past winter, especially after seeing only grey-filled skies and snow-laden clouds for so many months, I had lost the wonderment of life, and of how precious even a smidgen of warmth can warm the soul and lift the spirit. 

I found my ‘joy’ again this morning. The struggles of repurposing my business after suffering disappointment after disillusionment this past January melted away, just as the snow surrounding the little budding flower was slowly receding. 

So, if that amazing budding greenery can dare to show its tenacity and bravery to show up well before spring is even official in these parts, then I too, can persevere and emerge victorious through my really minor trials and tribulations. 

Sometimes a flower isn’t just a flower – it’s a sign that beauty and joy can be a part of your life… if you’ll just stick around long enough to see them.

Look out world. I’m back!

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Does Your Content Match Your Market?

j0309615As a writer and editor, it’s my job to research many different websites when preparing content for my clients. While I’ve seen some beautifully designed and executed sites in my searches, it never ceases to amaze me that when reading some of the content, I’m left feeling slightly puzzled and perplexed. And do you know why? It’s because their words leave me with two major unanswered questions, namely, “What do you do?” and “What are you offering me as a potential consumer?” 

In a lot of cases, the owner, (or content writer), of the website material hasn’t taken into consideration the actual target market or audience they need to reach in order to engage them in the buying process. I once asked a client who their target market was and they responded, “Well, everybody!” and looked at me as if I’d grown a second head. 

“Everybody” is not your market. You need to separate the ‘body’ from this word and get specific about who will want to do business with you. By answering these top 3 questions before you write your content, you’ll be much closer to attracting the perfect clients to your business and ultimately increasing your bottom line. 

1. What is the age range of your ideal client? This may seem like an odd question to ask, but it’s an extremely relevant one. If you’re selling a cutting edge new trendy jewellery accessory that you know your 24 year old niece loves, then write your content accordingly. Use current ‘hip’ wording that applies to that generation – something that will pique their interest and make them click further into your site to see your offerings. Using phrases such as “Our bling will make you sing” or “Feeling alone in the crowd? Wear Bling Things and stand your ground!” clearly states that it’s for a younger crowd. 

2. What are your ideal client’s habits? Where do they shop? What are they currently reading, and what programs are they watching on television? The more you know about what your prospective clients do in their spare time can definitely influence your marketing collateral and website content. If you’re uncertain about their actual habits, consider sending out a short survey with tailored questions to people whose opinion you value before you write your content. As the old saying goes, there is no such thing as a stupid question, so go ahead and ask before you start writing. 

3. What does your ideal client look like? I can imagine a few of you are thinking to yourself, “Why should it matter what my client looks like? I don’t care about superficial things like that!” Wrong! You do need to care about what your ideal client looks like and I’m not referring to whether they’re wearing a black pinstripe suit or sweat pants, (although that image certainly helps if your target market happens to be people who own clothing businesses or are CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies!) You need to have a clear vision in your mind of the person who will want your products or services. Be precise on the demographics as possible: what type of car/house do they own; where do they work; what type of food do they like to eat; do they shop at high-end boutiques or at chain retail stores; are they employed full-time, part-time, or stay at home mothers etc. These and at least 50 other questions come to my mind that you need to answer before writing your content. 

I’ve only listed 3 of the many questions you need to know the answers to before writing winning website content and marketing collateral, but I’m certain you’re now armed with enough information to decide once and for all exactly who that ‘body’ in ‘everybody’ is. 

Match your content to your client and you’ll create followers and ultimately sales. Because frankly, you’re in business to do business, aren’t you?

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Something to Think About on A Chilly Friday

Sunset in Cap Pele, 2009I was doing my morning reading from a wonderful book of inspirational poems, and today’s excerpt was called “High Flight.” I’d read these words before but had never known who was the writer, so like any self-respecting internet junkie, I did a search to find out who the author was and discovered it was John Gillespie Magee, Jr. But there’s a story behind this sonnet, and a rather interesting one as well.

According to Wikipedia, Magee was born in Shanghai, China, to an American father and a British mother who worked as Anglican missionaries. In 1939 he moved to the USA to live with his aunt in Pittsburgh and attended Avon Old Farms School in Avon, Connecticut. He earned a scholarship to Yale University – where his father was then a chaplain – in July 1940 but did not enroll, choosing instead to enlist in the Royal Canadian Air Force in October of that year.

He received flight training in Ontario at Toronto, Trenton, St. Catharines, and Uplands and passed his Wings Test in June 1941. Shortly after being awarded his Wings and being promoted to Pilot Officer, Magee was sent to Britain and was posted to No. 53 Operational Training Unit (OTU) in RAF Llandow, Wales to train on the Supermarine Spitfire. It was while at #53 OTU that Magee wrote High Flight.

Magee was killed at the age of 19, whilst flying Spitfire VZ-H, serial number AD-291. The aircraft was involved in a mid-air collision with an Airspeed Oxford trainer from RAF Cranwell, flown by Leading Aircraftman Ernest Aubrey. The two aircraft collided in cloud cover at about 400 feet AGL, at 11:30, over the village of Roxholm which lies between RAF Cranwell and RAF Digby, in Lincolnshire. Magee was descending at the time. At the inquiry afterwards a farmer testified that he saw the Spitfire pilot struggling to push back the canopy. The pilot stood up to jump from the plane but was too close to the ground for his parachute to open, and died on impact. Magee is buried at Holy Cross, Scopwick Cemetery in Lincolnshire, England. On his grave are inscribed the first and last lines from his poem High Flight, which is what I read this morning.

Here’s this amazing piece of prose that started off my morning:

“Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings,

Sunward I’ve climbed and joined the tumbling mirth

Of sun-split clouds – and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of – wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there

I’ve chased the shouting wind along and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue

I’ve topped the windswept heights with easy grace

Where never lark nor even eagle flew.

And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod

The high untrespassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.”  

Magee is buried at Holy Cross, Scopwick Cemetery in Lincolnshire, England. On his grave are inscribed the first and last lines from his poem High Flight:

“Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth -

Put out my hand and touched the Face of God.”

What a wonderful epitaph for a man who gave us all such a glorious sonnet.

Something lovely indeed to ponder on a very chilly December Friday morning on the windswept East Coast.

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Yay! My new website is LIVE!

I am so happy to see my new website up and running. As all of you wonderful people out there know, getting a site ‘live’ can sometimes be trying, and this one was no exception. If it hadn’t been for my trusty website savvy VA friend, Jef Keep, of www.DailyPlanetVirtual.ca, I’m certain I’d be totally hairless by now!

For those of you who happen to stumble on this short blog posting, drop me a line and let me know what you think of the overall site – both the good, bad and the ugly.

In the now immortal words of Arnold, “I’ll be baaaccck” later this week!

Cheerio!

Marlene

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